Bitsy Ramone's What Not to Buy

I'm sure everyone has the same problem. After you have left home for a certain amount of time, your parents and yourself kinda drift apart and when it comes round to Christmases and birthdays you find yourself hard-pressed to find each other gifts.

My end of the bargain is easy, as I work in a bookstore, everyone gets books whether they like it or not. The great thing about books is that they are so much more different varieties of books (these days too many) to choose from, certainly more than socks, anyway.

Last year, I must have given away five personally dedicated copies of a gift book (nice, safe option) for close relatives I really know nothing about.

I have to admit, there wasn't a great deal of thought or effort that went into the gifts, especially as the author lived locally and attended a signing just before Christmas at my shop. My mum though pretty much scrapes by each year with HMV vouchers or underwear or clothes that I wouldn't wear or shockingly one year, a radio/toilet roll holder (which didn't leave the box if I recall). Seriously, anyone who spends longer than a radio airplay song on the toilet has a bowel problem. Maybe she knew something I didn't. I'm not one of these people who has everything and is therefore hard to buy for but still I get things like that.

So pretty scary times lately on the gift front but this year and this week, my mum came up trumps on the gift front. Itunes gift cards. Granted it echoed somewhat of previous gifts but this meant I could shop from the comfort of my own laptop, which is where I sadly spend most of my spare time anyway.

As I buy records a lot less these days, I used the opportunity of £50 to spend on itunes as a rare opportunity to stock up on things from the past I had either not got around to getting or a few rare tracks that were otherwise unavailable, apart from on collections or soundtracks I was too tight to buy the whole thing for.

Plus, I really need to update my record collection. I don't have a lot of vinyl, although what I do have is quite rare and from the early 90's or the odd single/album from the eighties that I cherish and really should be under lock and key one day and not cluttering up my mother's attic.

I was more of a taper. Either off friends or what I bought was on tape format and I figured a while back that these albums are the ones I should be replenishing to a more modern format. More than anything, I don't really have anything anymore to play tapes on. Perhaps I should rectify that before they stop making them. Things are different now and my CD collection literally outweighs the tape by about 5to1. But back then, is was less albums and more live music.

Back then, I just taped gigs off the radio and some of the ones I have probably never will make it to CD in my lifetime, unless the Beeb really raid their 1990s archive so for the time being, they are staying with me, much to the annoyance of Mrs. Ramone. I have compromised with a lot of the video collections I have made from over the years now I have the fantastic YouTube to fall back on but I still have so many. So what did I get?

The Albums:

"Life Won't Wait" and "Let's Go" by Rancid.
Just one of those things when you get into an artist for the first time when you are poor. In Rancid's case, I guess it was about '96 when I was at Butlins and I was paid a pittance but then again I only had records on beer to buy. I loved "...And Out Come The Wolves" when it came out and it has stood the test of time by remaining in my Top 10 List so you can pretty much imagine how much I drank around this time. Very much looking forward to seeing the band again in November.

"Smart" by Sleeper (Replenishing worn tape copy)
One of my favourite albums of the '90s and practically my collect soundtrack along with the first Elastica album. When we went to study in Spain in 95, this was my soundtrack and continuing my new found love for girls with guitars that still gets me today.

"The Spaghetti Incident?" by Guns N'Roses (Replenishing worn tape copy)
GNR's half assed album of punk covers from the 70's and 80's was met with critical derision and cries of rock star wankery and self obsession and for many reasons they were right, they only made the album to satisfy themselves and because they could at the time but I loved the album, personally. They were my favourite band at the time, despite the disappointing '93 live shows in Milton Keynes and they were playing all of these punk rock songs, songs with a lot of critical acclaim and kudos attached to the originals. The cynicism of the rock press saw past though, because its their job really.
The odd title for the album comes from an issue they had with their past drummer, who they were in the middle of a court case with at the time. It refers to either (depending on who you believe) a food fight involving said drummer, Steven Adler or a fight that stemmed from another band member eating his dinner before they were due to go onstage.
All very rock n'roll, I know.

"Live Through This" by Hole (Replenishing one of many extremely worn tape copies)
I didn't like Nirvana around the whole explosion of "Teen Spirit" and "Nevermind", I gave it the same amount of over-hype-based indifference I gave The Arctic Monkeys this year when people told me that I must must MUST buy the album. I actually got into Courtney's band first when I saw them on The Word and they played "Beautiful Son." It wasn't until Steve Lamacq was playing tracks from "In Utero" on his show in the summer of '93 that I really got into Nirvana. I much preferred the new wave sound of "In Utero" and "Incesticide." "Bleach" I never really got into, despite The Big Man's insistance that its their best moment.

Bit of trivia for you nerds like me: The last song on the album, "Rock Star" is actually titled "Olympia." Initially, "Rock Star" was slated to close the album. This song is completely different from "Olympia" and features the lyric, "How'd you like to be Nirvana? So much fun to be Nirvana. Barrel of laughs to be Nirvana. Said you'd rather die."

The song was removed from the final tracklist and was replaced with "Olympia," but not before the artwork had been printed, probably due to the overdose in Rome, the previous month.
The original "Rock Star" can be found on bootlegs. This was lucky for the band and for Courtney as the album came out three days after Kurt was actually then found dead.

"Scream, Dracula, Scream" by Rocket From the Crypt (replenishing tape copy)
This is just an awesome album. The first four tracks just floor you. I had bought the massive 3CD single collection for "On a Rope" years previous and got to see them in Brighton in 2001 around the time of "Group Sounds" at the Concorde, which they laid waste to. Amazing gig. I lost my phone in the crush and went back the next day and chatted with the cleaners who had found it. I also lost my camera (just a crappy disposable) but I hadn't bothered taking any pictures of the band because I was too busy chatting up this girl. She was really tall, covered in tattoos and had pillar box, long red hair. Just my type. She took me to her flat above this pub near the palace pier and continued drinking in the bar while it was closed, before she did nasty things to me in bed.

I also purchased a number of tracks that I have been too tight to buy the whole albums for. There were surprisingly a lot of music that I expected to be on iTunes but were not. There were sadly no Dance Hall Crashers or Save Ferris, not all of the Tiger Lillies albums were there.... alas, I settled on "Bam Thwok" by The Pixies, their only new recording since their recent reunion, bizarrely recorded for the "Shrek2" film but not on the soundtrack.

A Faith No More track from the "Angel Dust" days called "The Perfect Crime", only available on the soundtrack to "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey".

"The King of RockNRoll" by Prefab Sprout, a song from my youth that I will be talking about in "Soundtrack" soon.

"E=MC2" by Big Audio Dynamite. I had a dream recently that I was in the video with Don Letts and Mick Jones and I was trapped in this industrial warehouse world that the band playes. Serves me right for eating cheese before bed time.

"Vasoline" by Stone Temple Pilots. Never got around to getting the album "Purple", can't think why, probably the same reason as the Rancid albums. Just a great song and on the par of anything from their first album also.

So there you go, the way to Bitsy's heart for future reference.... itunes gift certificate....